BDSM and Kink
A
Aftercare Kit
An aftercare kit is a collection of resources and tools designed to support individuals in processing their emotions and physical sensations after engaging in intimate activities, such as sex or BDSM play. These kits may include items like comfort drinks, soothing music, or emotional check-in guides to help individuals prioritize their well-being and consent.
Aftercare
Aftercare refers to the emotional support and care provided by one partner to another following a romantic or intimate encounter, particularly in situations where power dynamics are involved, such as BDSM or other non-monogamous relationships. This can include activities like checking in with each other, providing physical comfort, and engaging in conversations about boundaries and consent.
Age play
Age play is a form of consensual role-playing where adults act out different ages or life stages, often involving one partner taking on a more youthful role while another assumes a more mature role. It's important to note that this is strictly between consenting adults and should not involve actual minors in any way.
Anal Training
Anal training refers to the gradual process of preparing the anus and rectum for comfortable and safe anal sex or play. It typically involves using progressively larger toys or fingers over time to help relax the muscles and increase flexibility.
B
BDSM
BDSM is an umbrella term for a variety of erotic practices involving bondage and discipline, dominance and submission, and sadism and masochism. These practices often involve consensual power exchange, role-playing, and the use of restraints or other tools to create intense physical sensations and psychological experiences.
Blindfold
A blindfold is a garment or accessory used to cover the eyes, often employed in sexual activities to enhance sensory experiences or as part of BDSM practices. By temporarily removing the sense of sight, a blindfold can heighten other senses and increase arousal, anticipation, and vulnerability for the wearer.
Bondage Rope
Bondage rope is a specialized type of rope designed for use in consensual bondage practices, typically as part of BDSM activities. These ropes are crafted to be safe, comfortable, and effective for restraining a partner during erotic play. Bondage ropes come in various materials, lengths, and thicknesses, each offering different sensations and levels of restraint.
Bondage
Bondage refers to the practice of restraining a partner for sexual pleasure and stimulation. It involves using materials like ropes, cuffs, or other restraints to restrict movement of the body. Bondage is commonly practiced within the context of BDSM (Bondage/Discipline, Dominance/Submission, Sadism/Masochism) but can be enjoyed as its own activity as well.
Breath-play
Breath-play, also known as erotic asphyxiation, is a high-risk sexual practice that involves intentionally restricting oxygen to the brain for sexual arousal. This can be done through various methods such as choking, smothering, or compression of the carotid arteries. It's important to note that breath-play is considered an extreme form of edge play within BDSM communities and carries significant risks, including accidental death.
C
Caning
Caning is a form of impact play in BDSM involving the use of a thin, flexible rod or cane to strike various parts of the body, typically the buttocks. It can range from light taps to more intense strikes, and practitioners should be well-versed in safety techniques and consent protocols before engaging in this activity.
Chastity
Chastity refers to the practice of abstaining from sexual activity and/or the deliberate restriction of sexual behavior, either temporarily or permanently, often due to personal, religious, or moral beliefs. In modern contexts, it can also refer to the use of chastity devices or engaging in power exchange dynamics where one partner controls the other's sexual activity.
Cock Cage
A cock cage, also known as a male chastity device, is a sex toy designed to enclose and restrict access to the penis, typically worn for extended periods as part of BDSM play or orgasm control practices. These devices prevent erections, masturbation, and sexual intercourse while worn, often requiring a partner to hold the key for removal.
Collar
A collar, in the context of BDSM and kink, is a symbolic accessory worn around the neck to represent a power exchange dynamic, typically between a submissive and a dominant partner. While collars can vary in style from discreet day collars to more obvious play collars, they generally signify ownership, commitment, or submission within a consensual BDSM relationship.
Collaring
Collaring is a BDSM practice and ritual where one partner (typically the dominant) presents a collar to another partner (typically the submissive) as a symbol of their commitment, power exchange dynamic, and relationship status, similar to how a wedding ring represents marriage in traditional relationships. The collar itself can be decorative or functional, ranging from elegant jewelry to leather accessories, and its presentation often involves a ceremony or agreement that establishes or deepens the partners' power exchange dynamic.
Consensual Non-Consent
Consensual non-consent, also known as CNC, is a BDSM practice where participants agree in advance to act out a scenario that appears to be non-consensual. Despite its name, it is a consensual activity where all parties involved have thoroughly discussed and agreed upon boundaries, safe words, and the specific acts that will occur. The practice often involves power exchange dynamics and roleplaying scenarios.
D
Dom Daddy
A Dom Daddy is a dominant male partner in a BDSM or power exchange relationship, often older or more experienced, who takes on a nurturing or paternal role while maintaining authority over a submissive partner. This dynamic combines elements of dominance and submission with aspects of caregiving and guidance.
Dom drop
Dom drop refers to the physical and emotional crash that a dominant partner may experience after an intense BDSM scene or power exchange dynamic, characterized by feelings of exhaustion, sadness, guilt, or anxiety as their body returns to its normal hormonal state. This phenomenon is similar to sub drop but occurs specifically in the dominant partner who has been in charge of the scene or dynamic.
Dominance and Submission
Dominance and submission (often abbreviated as D/s) is a set of erotic practices, interpersonal dynamics, and roleplaying scenarios involving the consensual exchange of power between partners. In this dynamic, one partner (the dominant) takes control, while the other (the submissive) relinquishes control. This power exchange can be physical, emotional, or psychological, and may occur during sexual activities or extend into other aspects of the relationship.
Dominant
A dominant, often referred to as a "dom" or "domme" (female dominant), is a person who takes on a controlling or authoritative role in a consensual BDSM or power exchange relationship. The dominant partner typically directs activities, gives orders, and may administer various forms of stimulation or discipline to their submissive partner(s). This role is adopted as part of a mutually agreed-upon dynamic that provides psychological, emotional, or sexual satisfaction to all involved parties.
Dominatrix
A dominatrix, also known as a domme or mistress, is a female dominant partner in BDSM activities. She takes on a powerful, controlling role in sexual or non-sexual power exchange scenarios with submissive partners. A dominatrix typically employs various techniques such as bondage, discipline, and humiliation to assert dominance and provide psychological or physical stimulation to her submissives.
Dungeon
A dungeon, in BDSM context, refers to a dedicated space designed for BDSM activities and play. It's not necessarily underground or prison-like as the name might suggest. Instead, it's a controlled environment equipped with various BDSM furniture, toys, and equipment to facilitate different types of scenes and activities.
E
Electrostimulation
Electrostimulation, often referred to as e-stim or electrical play, is a sexual practice that involves using electrical currents to stimulate nerves and muscles for erotic pleasure. This technique uses specialized devices to send controlled electrical pulses through the body, creating unique sensations that can range from gentle tingles to intense pulsations.
Emotional Aftercare
Emotional aftercare refers to the process of providing emotional support and comfort to a partner after engaging in intense sexual activities, particularly in BDSM or kink scenarios. It involves creating a safe and nurturing environment to help partners transition back to their everyday mindset and process the experience they've just had.
Erotic hypnosis
Erotic hypnosis is a consensual practice that combines hypnotic techniques with sexual or sensual suggestions to enhance pleasure, explore fantasies, or modify sexual responses. It involves one person (the hypnotist) guiding another (the subject) into a focused, relaxed state where they may be more receptive to sensual suggestions or commands, though the subject always maintains ultimate control over their actions.
F
Fetish Wear
Fetish wear refers to clothing, accessories, and garments specifically designed or worn to enhance sexual arousal or fulfill a particular fetish. These items are often made from materials like leather, latex, PVC, or rubber, and are typically associated with BDSM and kink practices. Fetish wear can range from subtle accessories to full-body outfits and is used to express sexual desires, create power dynamics, or simply for aesthetic pleasure.
Figging
Figging is the practice of inserting a piece of peeled ginger root into the anus or vagina for sexual stimulation. This activity produces a burning sensation and heightened sensitivity in the affected area, which some people find pleasurable as part of BDSM or sensation play.
Flogging
Flogging is a BDSM practice involving the use of a multi-tailed whip, called a flogger, to strike a consenting partner's body for sexual gratification. It's a form of impact play that can range from gentle, sensual strokes to more intense, stinging sensations. The activity is typically performed by a dominant partner on a submissive partner, but roles can vary based on personal preferences.
H
Handcuffs
Handcuffs are restraint devices commonly used in BDSM and bondage play. They typically consist of two adjustable loops connected by a chain or hinge, designed to secure a person's wrists or ankles. In a sexual context, handcuffs are used to restrict movement and create a sense of powerlessness, which can be arousing for some individuals. They come in various materials, including metal, leather, and fabric, each offering different sensations and levels of restraint.
Harness
A harness is a wearable piece of equipment used in various sexual activities, typically designed to secure a sex toy or to facilitate certain sexual practices. The most common type is a strap-on harness, which is worn around the hips and pelvis to hold a dildo or other insertable toy in place, allowing the wearer to penetrate their partner. Harnesses can be made from various materials such as leather, nylon, or fabric, and come in different styles to suit various body types and preferences.
L
Leather
Leather, in a sexual context, refers to both a material and a subculture within the BDSM community. As a material, leather is often used in clothing, accessories, and equipment for BDSM practices due to its durability, sensory appeal, and symbolic associations with power and dominance. The leather subculture emerged in the mid-20th century, primarily among gay men, and has since expanded to include people of all genders and sexual orientations who are interested in BDSM, kink, and fetishism.
Limits (BDSM)
In BDSM, limits refer to the boundaries set by participants regarding what activities they are willing or unwilling to engage in during a scene or relationship. These boundaries are crucial for maintaining consent, safety, and comfort for all involved parties. Limits are typically discussed and agreed upon before any BDSM activities take place.
M
Mask
A mask, in the context of sexual practices, is a covering worn over part or all of the face during intimate activities. Masks can serve various purposes in sexual scenarios, including enhancing anonymity, facilitating roleplay, or as part of BDSM and fetish practices. They can be made from various materials such as leather, latex, fabric, or plastic, and come in different styles ranging from simple eye masks to full-face coverings.
Master-slave
Master-slave is a term used in BDSM to describe a consensual power dynamic relationship where one partner (the "master" or "mistress") takes on a dominant role, while the other partner (the "slave") assumes a submissive role. This dynamic often involves a high level of control and obedience, with the submissive partner willingly surrendering power to the dominant partner.
Mummification
Mummification is an extreme form of bondage within BDSM practices where one partner (the "mummy") is wrapped tightly from head to toe in materials such as plastic wrap, duct tape, or bandages. This practice creates a sensation of total immobilization and often sensory deprivation for the person being mummified.
O
Orgasm denial
Orgasm denial is a consensual sexual practice where one partner (or oneself) deliberately delays or prevents orgasm through various techniques like edging, despite continued sexual stimulation. It can be practiced solo or with a partner as part of BDSM play or general sexual exploration, with the goal of intensifying eventual sexual release or exercising sexual control.
Orgasm torture
Orgasm torture, also known as forced orgasm or post-orgasm torture, is a consensual BDSM practice where one partner continues sexual stimulation on another partner during or after orgasm when their body is extremely sensitive. This practice deliberately prolongs or forces multiple orgasms, often to the point of intense pleasure mixed with discomfort, and requires clear communication, consent, and established boundaries between partners.
P
Pet play
Pet play is a form of consensual role-play where one or more participants take on the characteristics, mannerisms, and behaviors of animals (such as cats, dogs, or other creatures), while others may act as trainers, owners, or handlers. This intimate dynamic often involves elements of power exchange, nurturing, and playful interaction, though it doesn't necessarily include sexual activity.
Power Dynamics
Power dynamics in a sexual context refer to the distribution and exchange of control, authority, or influence between partners during sexual activities or within a sexual relationship. These dynamics can be explicit and negotiated, as in BDSM practices, or more subtle and implicit in vanilla relationships. Power dynamics often involve elements of dominance and submission, but can manifest in various ways depending on the individuals involved and their preferences.
Power Exchange
Power exchange refers to a consensual dynamic in BDSM relationships where one partner voluntarily relinquishes control to another. This exchange can be physical, emotional, or psychological, and often involves elements of dominance and submission. The key aspect of power exchange is that it's negotiated and agreed upon by all parties involved, with clear boundaries and expectations set.
Primal Play
Primal play is a form of BDSM and roleplay that involves tapping into one's animalistic or instinctual side during sexual encounters. It often includes elements of dominance and submission, with partners taking on roles inspired by predator-prey dynamics or alpha-beta relationships found in nature. Primal play can involve rough body contact, growling, biting, scratching, and wrestling, all within the context of consensual and negotiated boundaries.
R
Risk-Aware Consensual Kink (RACK)
Risk-Aware Consensual Kink (RACK) is a philosophical approach to BDSM and kink practices that emphasizes informed consent and risk awareness. It acknowledges that some BDSM activities inherently carry risks, and promotes open communication about these risks between all involved parties. RACK encourages participants to educate themselves about potential hazards, make informed decisions, and take responsibility for their choices in kink activities.
Rope bunny
A rope bunny is someone who enjoys being tied up or restrained with rope in BDSM activities, particularly in the Japanese rope bondage art form known as Shibari/Kinbaku. This term is commonly used in the BDSM community to describe the receiving partner (or "bottom") in rope bondage scenes, as opposed to the "rigger" who does the tying.
S
Sadomasochism
Sadomasochism, often shortened to S&M or SM, refers to the giving and receiving of pleasure from acts involving the infliction or reception of pain or humiliation. A subset of BDSM, it is typically a consensual sexual practice that involves a power exchange between partners.
Safe, Sane, and Consensual (SSC)
Safe, Sane, and Consensual (SSC) is a guiding principle and ethical framework widely used in BDSM and kink communities. It emphasizes three key aspects of responsible and ethical BDSM practices:
Safe Word
A safe word is a pre-agreed upon word or phrase used in sexual or BDSM contexts to indicate that a participant wants to pause or stop the current activity. It serves as a clear, unambiguous signal that can be used when "no" or "stop" might be part of the roleplay or scene. Safe words are crucial for maintaining consent and ensuring the physical and emotional safety of all parties involved.
Safeword
A safeword is a predetermined word or phrase used during sexual activities, particularly in BDSM scenarios, to communicate that a participant wants to pause or stop the activity immediately. It serves as a clear, unambiguous signal that consent is being withdrawn or that a physical or emotional limit has been reached.
Sensation Play
Sensation play is a sexual practice that focuses on exploring and stimulating various sensory experiences to enhance pleasure and arousal. It involves using different textures, temperatures, and sensations on the body to create a range of physical and psychological responses. This practice can be gentle and subtle or more intense, depending on the preferences of those involved.
Service Submission
Service submission is a consensual practice within BDSM relationships where one partner (the submissive) derives pleasure and fulfillment from serving or caring for the other partner (the dominant). This can involve a wide range of activities, from household chores to personal care, sexual services, or other forms of support. The focus is on the submissive partner's desire to please and serve their dominant partner.
Shibari
Shibari, also known as Kinbaku, is a Japanese-style rope bondage art that involves tying a person using intricate patterns of knots and rope work. It's both an aesthetic practice and a form of BDSM activity, combining elements of restraint, power exchange, and artistic expression. The term "Shibari" literally means "to tie" or "to bind" in Japanese.
Sounding
Sounding is a sexual practice that involves the insertion of specially designed objects, called sounds, into the urethra (the tube that carries urine out of the body). This activity is typically performed for sexual pleasure and stimulation. Sounds are usually smooth, long, and thin instruments made of surgical steel, silicone, or other body-safe materials.
Spreader Bar
A spreader bar is a rigid bar with attachment points at both ends, used in BDSM and bondage practices to keep a person's body parts spread apart. Typically made of metal or sturdy plastic, spreader bars are designed to restrain and position the body, often keeping legs, arms, or even the mouth open and immobile. They can vary in length and may have adjustable features to accommodate different body sizes and desired levels of restraint.
Subdrop
Subdrop is a term used in BDSM communities to describe the physical and emotional crash that a submissive partner may experience after an intense scene or play session. It typically involves feelings of sadness, anxiety, or depression that can occur hours or even days after the BDSM activity. This phenomenon is believed to be caused by the sudden drop in endorphins and adrenaline that were released during the intense experience.
Submissive
A submissive, often referred to as a "sub," is a person who willingly gives up control to another person (the dominant) in a consensual power exchange dynamic, typically within a BDSM context. This role can be adopted during sexual activities, scenes, or as part of a broader lifestyle choice. Submissives derive pleasure, excitement, or fulfillment from following orders, pleasing their dominant partner, or experiencing various forms of controlled treatment.
Subspace (BDSM)
Subspace is a psychological state or altered level of consciousness that some submissives experience during intense BDSM scenes. It's characterized by a trance-like condition where the submissive may feel floating, detached from reality, or experience a natural high. This state is often described as euphoric and can be accompanied by decreased pain sensitivity and increased feelings of connection with their dominant partner.
Switch
A switch is a person who enjoys taking on both dominant and submissive roles in BDSM or kink scenarios, either within the same sexual encounter or across different encounters or relationships. Switches can fluidly move between these roles, adapting their behavior and mindset based on their partner's preferences, the specific situation, or their own desires at the time.